gr's 21st birthday celebration...

we arrived at sentosa at 2 plus as we had a hard time deciding what to get for him and i had lessons before that. we finally decided on a cushion massager before heading towards the destination. that birthday guy didn't prepare any drinks and we stupidly offered to buy for him. luckily as and bc had gotten free giant vouchers from doing a survey then, so we used the voucher to buy the drinks.

gr said he had planned some games for us but in turn out that all of us were playing our own games. never mind then, we shall take photos!


under the shade...


ica girls and the birthday guy


guess which one is my foot?


he wanted to take one with all the girls. -_-"


everybody in!


a little gift from him to us! he drew it himself! i have the angel one because i am one! :P

while passing by, we saw dmk having clearance sales! $7.90 to $19.90! an offer not to be missed so even though i saw nothing that i fancied, i still bought a pair for my mum...

when the kids play computer, they'll want to share with you what they're playing and will tell you things about the character. the websites the kids visit even more welldone than formal websites. i suppose winx club is a hot thing now. the hot wheels games are fun too.

the kids are extremely fascinated with love calculator. i still recall i used to play that too, but not because i really fetish anybody or what because i realise that the percentage changes everytime even when you put the same name. obviously only girls play and the pri 4 girls were showing alex, the boy that i adore, the love calculator. and alex wanted to put my name with his. haha! he's my bundle of joy.

he reminds me of patrick!


if you want to try yours too, click here. the main site is at http://www.everythinggirl.com/home/home.aspx.

alex's science class would be suspended during november. he told me he went home to cry when his science tutor told him that the wednesday class was the last lesson. that silly boy... the other time he also told me he cried at home. poor kid. his parents are in switzerland, leaving him to his aunt. i'd never leave my kids in singapore by themselves no matter what jobs i have.

he told me he scored 1oo for his maths test. :D such a smart kid!

while playing hangman, i'd take down scores and he'd always solve the hangman, so i got zero point. i acted like i was depressed and that sweet little boy purposely died to give me 1 mark. :) aren't he sweet?

after lesson, his little brother would come and his brother is as cute as him! since we're the only 2 persons in the classroom, he came in and told me he knew how to spell vegetables and wanted to spell for me. he wrote V-E-G-E-T-A-B-L-E on the board. and alex asked him to say 'hello' to teacher. he's a great brother too!

alex's called me mama a few times. he made me sound old. if only he's my son... *evil laugh* :)

since the kids talk about love calculator, it reminds me of the dumb FLAMES game which we played in class. we'd write our own name and some other guy's name before finding the common alphabets to cancel out. tabulate the number of cancelled alphabets to find what relationship you two are having. during pbf lecture, i tried his name and mine and i got an A. F for friends, L for lovers, A for admirers, M for married, E for enemy and S for sweetheart. probably i can teach this game to my tuition kids! :P

i'm totally upset by my tuition kids, both yesterday and today.

yesterday's first lesson was voluntary as i went back especially to teach a pri 4 chinese class for an extra 2 hours because their exams are coming. i was comtemplating on whether to let joanne, the person-in-charge of employing me, knows. in the end, i decided not to tell her since i'm not demanding extra wage and it's rare that students will request for extra lessons now. but still, she found out. i guess one of the two kids' parents had called her. so she questioned me over the phone and i lied that i had given them only 1 hours of 'informal' tuition when i had actually let them stay for 2 hours. guilt.

second lesson yesterday was even more disastrous. there were 2 boys and 1 girl. one of the boys was telling the other boy that his friend had shown him a video. it's not a normal video because he was talking about a woman, naked, walking towards a man, then they kissed, and then he said, "she sucked his cock" like no big deal. OH MY GOD! that's pornography! and mind you, he's only 9 years old!!!!!!! he's teaching the other boy about ra stuffs which i don't even talk about!

the most shocking of all was when the girl starts to tell me that they're talking about sex and sucking cock and the other boy showed me a sex sign and asked me what that was. i told the very first boy that he'd get suspended from school if the school ever finds out that he watched pornography in school. he told me innocently that it was his friend who showed him the video.

ok. terribly upset. i know they're curious about the differences between boys and girls, and having puppy love these kinds of things, but i seriously didn't expect them to start watching pornography! oh my god. what should i do?! should i tell joanne or their parents? that'll get the boy's friend into trouble too? but i don't know how to handle these type of situations too!

the last class for yesterday was a group of primary 1 kids. i don't want to shout at them because they are nice kids, very very sweet little kids. just a little playful and doesn't listen sometimes. but yesterday was the worst day of all because they totally didn't listen and refused to do work. kids nowadays...

as for today, there's only 1 boy, the boy whom i really like, for 2 sessions. the little boy is also the boy who showed me the sex sign and who tells me about the science teacher and spongebob stuffs. he's really cute and in order not to upset me, he'll do whatever i ask him to do, with the exception of doing homework. so i let him play a little bit of computer since i really have nothing to do. i had allowed the 2 pri 4 girls to play yesterday too. i didn't want to, but they said the other person-in-charge had allowed them to play before, so i presume it's ok to let them play for a while. apparently, IT'S NOT!

unfortunately, the 2 pri 4 girls saw the boy playing computer game when they came for lesson at a later time. i had to start the second lesson with the boy because i knew another teacher was coming and i couldn't possibly let her see him play the computer. that's why i ushered him into the classroom to begin class. he knew i'll get a scolding and stopped. he even thanked me for allowing him to play because he had been wanting to play that for a long time. :)

however, the other teacher was late and the 2 pri 4 girls took advantage of this chance to play the computer without my knowledge. i mean, i did allow them to play prior to that, but when i was teaching, i had no idea one of them went back to play the computer. another 2 teachers came in and saw the girl playing the computer. i guessed she said i allow them to play so they came to question me if i did give her the permission. i stupidly said yes and made myself the scapegoat. but in fact, i did allow her to play, and, the other 2 teachers wouldn't scold me.

fine, i think i'm dumb because i've protrayed myself as incapable of handling kids in front of other teachers, especially after the insecticide incident, especially when it's the same teacher who saw my flaws twice.

i'm so upset.

if, people say love is irrational, and
if, i'm using rationality to analyse your actions, and
if, you are also rational enough not to do anything,
doesn't that mean we don't love each other?

just some random thoughts.

anyway, i went to imm to get some assessment books for my tuition kids. hopefully i can claim the money back from the tuition centre. afterall, i haven't been collecting any money from my american students. i'm going broke.

the agent, whom didn't even recommend me there, had sucked off half of my tuition job's salary right after i've completed half a month's assignment without doing anything. heartache. they are really efficient in collecting their money huh? i haven't even finished the full assignment yet.

i think the tuition centre i'm working at is quite terrible. it has limited assessment books and i'm usually the only person attending to the class and the counter. i even have to buy my own assessment books without knowing if i can claim back my money.

jane says if they don't want to pay, then there'll be no materials in class, so the parents will complain to the tuition centre and i don't have to bother. then i told her, usually i'm the only person at the centre and if the parents have to complain, then they'll be complaining to me. -_-"

either way, i'm doing all the extra odd jobs.

anway, primary school assessment books are fun to do! :)

dinner at xin wang! my chicken curry! :) yummy.


minced pork rice for fay!


beef congee for jane! :D

while savouring our sumptuous dinner, they were busy looking at guys in the restaurants even though fay couldn't see clearly. i forgot how we came to talk about vanguards being the name of the guy and fay suggested that the surname of that person can be sheet. it was hilarious when fay thought jane didn't catch the surname part. fay is finding guys with earrings very attractive! is she going to find an ah beng as boyfriend?! my god! then she'll become ah lian! NO! sidenote, i prefer guys with spectacles! :)

as it was still early, we decided to walk from orchard to city hall!

on the way, we saw this lime green lamborghini outside the national musuem! i swear it's ultra gorgeous even though it's dark at night. surprisingly, it's its boot that attracted us! i can't imagine an ah pek driving this!


the grandeur national musuem looking even more majestic at night.


inside the museum, there is a huge magnetic wall for you to create your own artwork! :) it's twardzik ching chor leng's fifth public installation in singapore that features colourful mobile magnetic rods! he firmly endorses that "every man is an artist". it reminds me of ratouille's plot that "everyone can cook".


walking to the second storey, we saw these pretty dangling lamps which swirled and twirled in the air.

see, they're swaying at such fast speeds.

we went to visit the prince of gowns: a selection of benny ong's works from 1988-1989 exhibition. the gowns, which were inspired by neoclassicism and romanticism art movements in the Europe, are as old as us! taken from the arts museum brochure:


fay told me that this is the old national museum and that we were standing on the extension, overlooking at the old national museum building. what a historical moment. that building is 120 years old.


hey jane! look! i didn't know william farquhar was an artist!

click here to take a peep at his art! they are well-done! :)

fay's last attempt at the magnetic field before we left!



if a picture speaks a thousand words, i have spoken a lot today!

小孩又不乖了，把我气得蹦蹦跳，所以我也发火了。没做功课没关系，反正这是意料中的事。 要和他们一起对答案，慢慢吞吞，讨价还价。这很平常。

但是今天真的得寸进尺，不断地说要玩游戏，又对彼此使眼色，打暗号，又说一些莫名奇妙的暗语，什么a计划，b计划的。然后大家都说要上厕所，结果竟然跑去玩抓谜藏。过后还嬉皮笑脸的和我玩。

拜托，如果他们的家长看到他们利用补习的时间在玩，我不被责怪才怪。喊一喊，还真有效。 :)

我跟他们说，他们这样是在浪费他们父母的钱。他们回我说，他们喜欢浪费父母的钱。如果我是他的妈妈，准被我打死。不过，他们怎么会懂钱来得不易？或许，他们的家真的太有钱了，可以随意挥霍呢？:(

我还得想假期时可以跟他们做些什么。一想到他们那么活泼乱跳的个性，要和他们一起做完任何任务，似乎很困难。又得有教育性，又得抓住他们的注意力。。。难咯难咯！

过后的一堂课，突然来了多两个学生，把我搞得措手不及。不过，他们还算乖。今天的课真有趣，有谜语耶！:)

第一个应该挺容易的。中间两个让我想了一会儿，不过，还猜得出。最后一个，也算容易了！看看你们猜得出吗？:)

我又再一次去报名驾驶理论了。嘿。。。希望这次可以通过，不想在浪费钱了。。。

:) 测测大东爱你吗？按这里试试
大东爱我哦！:)

清理了联络号码，还有左边的那一条长长的名单。才发现，自己真的有好多朋友，可是，有一些人，真的不值得我花宝贵的时间在他们身上，就好像我的jc class。那不是恨，因为他们没有那么大的影响力。就好像他们不愿意接受我这个讲华语的朋友，我也不太愿意和香蕉做朋友。就好像他们不能接受我的踏实，我也不能接受他们的肤浅。那就井水不犯河水吧。不过，还是有好几个靠得住的。:)

朋友总是来来往往。会让我第一时间想起的，并没有几个。一段友情是双方面的，就好像一个巴掌拍不响。所以，我把很多人的电话删掉了。如果已经没有联络那么久了，那就别联络了。反正没有你，我始终活得很好。可惜的是你们，因为我不会背弃朋友的。:P

如果哪一天你打给我，而我问你，你是谁，那你就知道，我已经删除你的电话了！

难得才有的大促销，我们怎么会错过呢？？在大家繁忙的时间表里挤出一小段时间，一起去唱歌吧！我知道他们都很累了，可是，还是不想错失这个大优惠。姐妹们，别累坏自己了。在夜里唱歌，会激发比较抒情的一面。慢歌的点播率似乎比较高一些。晚上唱歌还会延长时间哦！不过，太晚回去妈妈会骂。。。

看，他们给我们一份小礼物哦！是巧克力！原本，我们以为是链牌呢！


jane先把它抢去吃了！

看jane的脸，好像不好吃。。。还好不是我吃！哈哈！:)

我不想忘記你 (郭靜)

我在向前走　卻像在退後
我在用想念　狂歡寂寞
越快樂就越失落　

愛將我們高高舉起以後
再讓心　學會墜落
懷念著　寬闊的天空
雖然那裡　空氣很稀薄

我努力　想起你　笑著哭泣
讓自己　深愛你　再學會放棄
我不想忘記你　就算可以
我寧可記得所有傷心

我努力　想起你　哭也沒關係
用祝福　和感激　勇敢失去你
愛你這個決定　雖然艱辛　
我不說對不起

一個人不懂　什麼是擁有
兩個人不懂　怎麼把握
越在乎就越脆弱　
愛將我們高高舉起以後
再讓心　學會墜落
懷念著　寬闊的天空
雖然那裡　空氣很稀薄

有些人一辈子都不会知道被人对他的感觉。
有些人一辈子都不会对别人说出他心里话。
我认为，我对他的感觉已经消失了。。。。。。

a day spent in the cinema watching the detective which scared the hell of me because jeanette sitting beside me practically jumped out of her chair. the plot is not bad but i had expected more for the solving of the crime because i love to know the details about how the murderer committed crimes. it turned out that a ghost is the murderer. *yawn*

but still, the way aaron kwok investigated the crime was thrilling and the 3 of us were scared stiff. jh even said she felt her shoulders cramped after the movie due to her being too intensed. :)


both the hui huis.


jh and me!


the 3 of us.


we're married to each other!

i didn't know such kind of people exists in my school until today. naiveness. i am still in a shock when she shot the words at me and they pricked me like needles. it was such a simple comment yet impacted me so greatly.

the last thing i'd ever wanted was to ask a favour from anybody. and even then, nobody had done this to me before. oh well, there's always a first time. her attitude prompted me to take on a new motivation. why should i stoop so low when i'm sure i can do better than her? no worries, i'm sure i'll and i can surpass her. IN EVERY WAYS.

only thanks very much for pushing me forward.

***

anyway, the zhang zhen yue's campus concert was fantastic. :) his live singing was superb and the crowd was totally involved. he's definitely worth my time queueing and watching! i promise i'll buy his cd after i got my first paycheck. :)

小雨 (張震嶽)
作詞：張震嶽　作曲：張震嶽　編曲：張震嶽
總有些驚奇的際遇　比方說當我遇見你
你那雙溫柔剔透的眼睛　出現在我夢裡
我的愛就像一片雲　在你的天空無處停
多渴望化成陣陣的小雨　滋潤你心中的土地

不管未來會怎麼樣　至少我們現在很開心
不管結局會怎麼樣　至少想念的人是你
我不會把它當作遊戲　因為我真心對你

總有些話是不能提　怕你會掉入選擇題
我把情感自私的那一面　隱藏在黑夜裡
我的愛就像一片舟　在你的心湖無處停
尋尋覓覓一個美麗的港灣　希望不再流浪漂蕩

我不管未來會怎麼樣　至少我們現在很開心
我不管結局會怎麼樣　至少想念的人是你
我不管未來會怎麼樣　但我每天都想見到你
我不管結局會怎麼樣　我想真的跟你在一起

如果你還是沒法相信　真的沒關係　我會安靜的離去

再見(張震嶽)
作詞：張震嶽　作曲：張震嶽　編曲：張震嶽

我怕我沒有機會　跟你說一聲再見　
因為也許就再也見不到你　
明天我就要離開　熟悉的地方和你　
要分離　我眼淚就掉下去

我會牢牢記住你的臉　我會珍惜你給的思念　
這些日子在我心中　永遠都不會抹去

我不能答應你　我是否會再回來　不回頭　不回頭的走下去

不回頭　不回頭的走下去

something random:

the tuition kid nearly drove me to death. not doing homework and giving all kinds of excuses. they were absolutely fascinated with the insecticide and sprayed it all around the tuition centre. i nearly suffocated. he sprayed the insecticide PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT for half a minute until i told him to stop. can u imagine the whole air-conditioned tuition centre filled with insecticide? *choke*

it was time for another teacher's class to begin. they smelt the insecticide and questioned who sprayed the insecticide. my god. i felt so disgraced because i couldn't even control my own students.

after the teacher finished scolding them, i told them i'm going to get mad if they don't behave themselves. obviously, when i said that, it was in a harsh tone. unfortunately, they didn't think i was mad and even asked, "teacher, you will get angry one meh?" *faint* can't they sense my blood was already boiling then?

after the lesson has ended, my tuition kid's brother came to fetch him. he's primary one and he's really good at drawing dinosaurs! he named out all the dinosaurs he would draw and finished drawing in five minutes' time! :) he even insisted on drawing the ground and trees. i swear i can't draw better.

look!



i took these photos on the sly. :P

i received a call just now.

it's a call filled with regrets and remorse.

the main problem about the whole incident was that she was not being sensitive to the person in distress. she hoped she can turn back the time and sensed her agony, but i told her, without prior knowledge of what will happen in the future, even if you turn back the time, the outcome will still remain unchanged. many a times, we wished we can go back in time, but on second thoughts, what will that change anyway? like i said, unless you can predict the future, you will still make the exact same decisions, because you are you, and what will be done by you will be done by you.

she felt guilty for not being there for her when she signalled her red alarm. please cherish the people around you and please, if you have any problems, talk it out! blog it out or even sing it out! i'm sure there're one million and one ways to vent out your frustration, but please don't ever break down. there might be many friends who are willing to help, but sometimes, nobody can help us and we're the only people who can pull ourselves up. if you give up on yourself, it's the end.

i guess there are indeed many things which trigger off a depression. but still, i am sure you are not in the worst state. come on, just face up to reality and move on. sinking yourself in depression and pessimism are just ways of escapism.

两个人在这个世界上相遇的几率有多少？
是六亿分之一。
两个人在新加坡要遇到的几率，也要三百万分之一。

巧遇的机会又因着许多因素。
即使想出门，三百六十五天，偏偏那一天。
即使是那一天，二十四个小时，几千个购物场所，几十种的交通工具，几百趟的车程。
即使在同一个空间，彼此又会有着相望的眼神吗？

如果真的遇到想遇到的那个人，那算缘分吗？

*****

每个人做某些事都是有理由的。

不过，我也没有那么多时间去做那些无聊的事了。很多事情都只是一种习惯。习惯了，就连痛都可以变麻木。把自己埋没在工作里，不去想，会活得快乐一点。。。。。。

thank god today's tuition went on smoothly. in fact, i quite enjoyed today's session although today is a looooonnnngg day... my tuition kid is pretty cute. ^^

the first session was maths and i find the 2 students intelligent and smart. the problem is that they don't tap on their brains, but rather, their mouths more. :P

they told me ALOT about their previous tuition teacher, about how she'd be late for lessons and they assume she had gotten lost, so they went out to the roads there to wait for her, and how they got a scolding from her just because they were standing on the roads. (sidenote, in front of the tuition centre is a small public carpark) they told me she didn't appreciate their kindness.

then they blabber on about how she'd sleep during lesson and not do anything. how laughable to think that the tuition teacher fell asleep during the lesson! they even went to the extent of switching the lights and closing the door for her to sleep. according to them, she forbidded them from having the half an hour break between the 2 sessions too. i guess that's to compensate the time for herself being late. how scheming to go half an hour late and used the break to teach.

i had tuition with one of the students yesterday too. then he told me,
student: teacher, you know my science teacher said you are pretty.
upon saying this, he got embarrassed and faced down.
me: har? who's your science teacher?
student: oh, that ah joe. (wah, how intimate)
me: is it?
student: teacher teacher, are you married?
me: no. nobody wants me. why? you want to marry me ar?
then he got embarrassed all over again.

how cute.

there's another conversation which i found extremely amusing.

they were telling me about where spongebob lives and something else, so i asked them if they like spongebob. they said ya.
student: teacher, do you have cartoon network?
me: no.
student: you know, the starhub thing, you have?
student assumes i don't know what is cartoon network.
me: i know, but i don't have.
student: do you have kids central?
me: ya, but i don't watch. i don't watch tv.
students: teacher... then how you know spongebob?
is there a pre-requisite that i have to watch kids central to know spongebob? kids......

but they're really sweet.

the delivery man delivered the photocopier to the centre and he wanted to use the backdoor. to my surprised, the boys actually knew that we had to use a key to open the backdoor. ok. i didn't know. so they got the key and ran to the backdoor only to discover that the keyhole had a whole lump of dried glue, so we couldn't push the key in. they're quite adamant about opening the door, and even got a pair of scissors to poke the hole. gosh. thank god they didn't cut themselves.

after a while, they finally gave up. but the uncle was already knocking hard on the door. i shouted UNCLE, but he couldn't hear. so the little boy shouted, UNCLE for me. the uncle heard and the boy helped me to tell him to use the front door instead. he even apologised to the uncle on behalf of the centre. such a sweetie pie. :)

after that small incident, it's time for break! they ran around the centre and shouted that there's an ultra huge mosquito in the classroom. i didn't know they actually sprayed insect repellant in the room and went to open the door. they even came and scolded me for spoiling their plan. :P i was too tired to bother and went into the room to rest. one of the boys told the other one, let's stay here to accompany the teacher in case the mosquito comes back. :) how swweeett!!!

ok. i shall stop. it's a long entry. the kids bring a smile and sweet memories in me. maybe it's not that bad afterall.

children nowadays are a whole load of crap.

my very first lesson of group tuition was a total disaster with kids running about. i feel like sleighing them to their seats or even put super glue to make them stick to their chairs. and the instigator is, very much surprisingly, a girl. while the other 2 boys are easily tamed, the girl is totally oblivious and disrespectful the teacher.

after the first lesson, i felt like quitting on the spot. i heard from the kids that they had changed quite a few number of tutors too. i thought to myself, gosh, the problem does not lie with the tutor, it's with you all. previously, i thought it was kind of cruel for the tutors to leave just before their SA2. during the lesson, i changed my view and guessed that it served them right. how evil of me, but i don't care. they're notorious.

while i was still lamenting and mourning about the first session, the second session had to start. thank godness the next session consist of 3 primary one kids, who will at least, listen to me. nice bunch of kids. :)

终于去了半个钟头的补习。那小孩的华文程度不差于本地学生，也可能已经超越了同龄的程度。可悲又可笑，这么多外国人愿意花大钱请人教他们华文，我们自己的学生有着资源却不肯好好学习华文。

下课了，我走着走着，走回了以前工作的地方，那个快乐悲伤交织的地方，那个给我许多回忆，又让我封闭的地方。再一次走回那条路，有着无数的感想。我不止走了工作的地方那条路，还走了我们去吃午餐的好几个地方。我仿佛可以看到大家一起走着那一段路的情景。可是，过了一阵子，我又想起了到后来，大家怎么躲避彼此，怎么找借口不跟不喜欢的人一起走，后来又怎么被撞见。谎言像滚雪球一样，越滚越大，越滚越难以收拾。真相令人痛心，肤浅的举止令人心寒。人心难测。。。

我想，在经历那段日子后，都或多或少改变了大家，对单纯的思想不再有任何期望。原来，人性是如此可怕。真诚的待人，换来的不一定是相同的待遇。

我很努力的以客观的态度对待在那里发生的每一件事。毕竟，我始终是旁观者。可是，我还是被拉进那个大漩涡里。客观变成偏袒，恶魔战胜了理智。

不过，一切的一切已经过去了。现在回想起来，连事情的引火线我都不太记得了，中途又发生了什么事，我也只是隐隐约约地记得。痛苦的回忆，就让它随风而去吧！:)

the best children's day present in all my years.......




















a fail for my advanced theory test.

thanks for reaffirming me that i am not dumb. but who is really to be blamed? myself for not studying. if it happens for a second time, it's no coincidence that i am the one who brought this upon myself.

so i only told 2 people about my immediate failure.

in front of how many people will you admit your own mistakes? i swear i won't do it in front of my family. there is no way you can seek any condolence from them.

some people might be your best friends, but there is no way you will show them your weakness.
some people might be there for you throughout your failures, but there is no way they can comfort you.
some people might bring comfort, but there is no way they can relate the consolation to your losses.
some people might bring all the happiness, but you just do not want to admit your failures to them.

i realise that i am not able to convey my weaknesses to many people because they rely on me to share their burden. if i collapse as well, they might find it meaningless to move forward.

failure, is nothing to be ashamed of. i suppose the harder thing is whether you want to admit your failures in front of people whom you wish to surpass. when exactly will you admit your failures to anybody?

oh. i'm not upset about failing. just find a lack of motivation as to continue with anything in my life at the moment.

how do you find back motivation?

once, my friend told me that i am stronger than how i look. :) i'll bounce back pretty soon.


credits

Artist's Comments
When everything is falling apart, there's always one thing - or one person - that holds everything together...



...if you look really closely, you can see the stem!